Moborate

Every newspaper does year-enders, you know those things that sum up what happened in the past year that everyone already knows about and which only those who didn't bother following the news the whole year bother reading? We, on the other hand, couldn't give a rat's arse about year-enders. More importantly, we have a hard enough time keeping up with news as it happens and nobody ever pays us to dig stuff up from a whole year. In that spirit, we present 2011's final awards in the Bizarre Newspaper Headline Contest ... yeah, they're not a round-up of all the wonderful headlines that may have entertained us through the year, just the most recent ones we remember. In any case, here they are: 1. The What Else You Gonna Call It Headline Award Winner: The News Lahore on November 14 for its main lead about a poor donkey that was strapped with explosives that were set off via remote-control in a crowded market in Khyber Agency. Had this been the Express Tribune , we would ...

You know I've been missing our periodic Bizarre Newspaper Headline Contest . Is it just my feeling or have newspapers become really stingy with them? But I need not have fretted, for you can always rely on the Express Tribune to chase away those blues... Express Tribune, 1st April 2011 That's a story from Sukkur (I have yet to figure out why Sukkur stories appear regularly on the "Karachi" pages but that's a separate matter) about how people were upset at Pakistan's loss to India in the cricket World Cup semi-finals. And the headline is: "From India losing, our nose cutting the team has" It's placed in quotes in the headline though no one in the story utters those words in that fashion. Yes, someone does say " India se haar ke humari naak katwa di hai " but he says it in Urdu and it is after all a fairly normal idiomatic expression.  And no I don't think it's one of ET 's April Fool's jokes today. So all I want to know...

Run for your lives, art vultures! Picasso 's still alive, he's cloned himself into a small army, and all of them are mighty pissed at how much money you've been making off them! From Dawn 's ' International Pages ': Page 11 of Dawn today In case you have difficulty reading from the image, the story - about a cache of hitherto unknown works by the master painter discovered at an electrician's home - is headlined "Horde of Picassos discovered in Paris." Shall we give this the "I Work for an English Paper But Find the Language Really Confusing" Award in today's Bizarre Newspaper Headline Contest ?

Enough of such onanistic celebrations! (Thanks for @jhaque_ for pointing this out.) Original story in all its glory, here .